Emotional abuse is a silent destroyer of happiness. Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse often goes unnoticed, yet its effects can be just as devastating. In this blog post, we’ll take a deeper look into the world of emotional abuse, exploring its various forms, signs and the profound impact it can have on your overall happiness. We’ll also discuss how to break free from the cycle and seek support.
Understanding Emotional Abuse
1.1. Defining Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse is a pattern of behaviour designed to gain power and control over another person through manipulation, intimidation and degradation. It’s a form of psychological harm that can be inflicted through words, actions and / or neglect.
1.2. The Silent Suffering
Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse often leaves no visible scars. Many victims suffer in silence, making it challenging for them to seek help or escape.
Types of Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse can take various forms, each equally destructive to your emotional well-being.
2.1. Verbal Abuse
This involves belittling, name-calling, shouting and / or using hurtful language to demean the victim.
2.2. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a tactic used to make the victim doubt their own perceptions and reality. The abuser may deny their own actions or manipulate and change facts and lie to make the victim question their sanity.
2.3. Isolation
Isolation occurs when the abuser limits the victim’s contact with friends and family, making them feel alone and entirely dependent on the abuser.
Recognizing the Signs
Emotional abuse can be challenging to identify, as it often occurs gradually and subtly. Here are some signs to look out for:
3.1. Constant Criticism
An emotionally abusive partner frequently criticises and belittles you, making you feel inadequate and worthless.
3.2. Control and Manipulation
The abuser tries to control every aspect of your life, from your finances and social interactions to your clothing choices and daily routines.
3.3. Emotional Withdrawal
They may withhold affection, attention or intimacy as a means of punishment or control.
Effects of Emotional Abuse
The toll of emotional abuse can be far-reaching, affecting your mental, emotional, and even physical well-being.
4.1. Mental Health Impact
Emotional abuse can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
4.2. Emotional Consequences
Victims of emotional abuse often struggle with heavy feelings of shame, guilt and self-blame.
4.3. Physical Health
The stress and anxiety caused by emotional abuse can lead to physical health problems, including headaches, digestive issues and sleep disturbances.
Breaking the Cycle
Escaping the clutches of emotional abuse is crucial for your happiness and well-being. Here’s how to break free:
5.1. Recognise the Abuse
The first step is acknowledging that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. Trust your instincts and seek validation from a trusted friend or therapist. Google Narcissm, Narcissistic Abuse and Toxic relationships. Educate yourself on what real supportive healthy relationships look like.
5.2. Establish Boundaries
Set clear boundaries with the abuser and communicate your expectations for respectful treatment if you can. If not learn how to go ‘No Contact’.
5.3. Seek Professional Help
Talking Therapy, Counselling and Specifically designed Self-Help books can provide you with the tools and support needed to recover from emotional abuse and regain your self-esteem.
Support and Recovery
Breaking free from emotional abuse is not easy, but with the right support, it is possible.
6.1. Lean on Friends and Family
Reach out to supportive and Non-Judgmental friends and family who can provide emotional support and a safe haven.
6.2. Join Support Groups
Consider joining a support group for survivors of emotional abuse. Connecting with others who have experienced similar trauma can be incredibly healing. Connect with Onika Sabrina to point you in the right direction.
6.3. Self-Care
Practice self-care on am immense scale to nurture your emotional and physical well-being. Activities like meditation, exercise, and journaling will help you heal.
Preventing Emotional Abuse
Preventing emotional abuse starts with awareness and education. Here are some steps to protect yourself and your loved ones:
7.1. Recognise the Red Flags
Educate yourself and others about the signs of emotional abuse. Awareness is the first line of defence.
7.2. Promote Healthy Relationships
Encourage open communication and respect in all your relationships, whether romantic or platonic. People who are poor communicators are a red flag.
To Conclude
I have no physical scars, only mental and emotional ones. Scars that are not visible to the eye. No-one really knew the severity of it all until the lid blew off the relationship and I could no longer stomach it all.
He shouted at me, way too often. When I say shout, I mean bellow. The whole street could hear him. He would tell me that I was slow and delayed.
He often lied about events which made me constantly question how I remember things happening. He said it was because I had such a bad memory. I later came to realise that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my memory. He just made me believe there was.
I was becoming more isolated from my family and friends. He rarely wanted to do anything with us, the children and I, and when we left him behind because he chose to stay, he would always cry pity and say ‘you’re leaving me’ or ‘don’t leave me’. The children would then reply, ‘mum can we stay home’, to which I would say, ‘no, we have plans, lets go. Daddy will be here when we get back’.
I was told that my hair didn’t look good, I was told that I shouldn’t be leaving the house like that, in those clothes.
He always borrowed money and NEVER paid it back. Eventually I cottoned on and told him not to ever ask me for money again because I always give it in faith, which is not returned. He would still ask again and again until he got the message. All this time he refused to secure a full time and steady income.
When he didn’t like something I did or said he would withdraw, giving me the silent treatment for days. When I questioned what I had done he would continue the charade, still silent. I never did anything severe; this was just his way of punishing me.
I didn’t realise until after more than 10 years of this trauma, that living like this had an effect on my mental and emotional well being. I didn’t want to go out, I didn’t want to see friends, I didn’t want to talk to anyone who wasn’t my mother, fathers, brothers or sisters. I didn’t trust anyone but them. I constantly felt judged. Many even said ‘why didn’t you just leave’. When ever i heard this I often cried when i got home feeling like it was my fault.
Guilt was my biggest hurdle. Feeling guilty that I stayed. Guilty that I didn’t leave sooner. Guilty that I put my children through it. Just immense guilt. I didn’t eat for properly for months after I left because he was still being such a tyrant, it had an effect on my eating habits and I went off food.
I said this to say
I said this to say…….Learn and understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Not what you see on the surface within your family and from friends because you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. I mean research what it looks like. And research what it doesn’t look like. Get professional help and Self-Help books to help you navigate the trauma. And have a handful of people you can talk to without judgement. These people are your safe space. Do lots of self-care activities and just do your best.
Emotional abuse erodes happiness, but by recognising the signs, seeking help, and breaking free from the cycle, you can regain control of your life and your well-being. Remember that you are not alone, and there is support available to help you heal and build a brighter, happier future free from abuse.
This website is a place where I give you realistic and defined tips and tricks that work to build your life up…….it’s a place where I prove to you that you have all that you need, for the life that you desire and it’s a place where I prove to you that……. you are not alone……. you got this and I love you.
Onika Sabrina
Comment below:
What activities helped you heal and regain your sense of self after experiencing emotional abuse?
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